


If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

by poprox



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Eventual Happy Ending, Illustrations, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, References to Jane Austen, Roommates, Self-Esteem Issues, oblivious karkat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25844146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poprox/pseuds/poprox
Summary: Karkat and Dave watch a bunch of Jane Austen movies, and try to climb the daunting mountain of their collective intimacy issues.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fic. It's dialog-heavy and probably extremely cliche. I just wanted to dip my toes in here..... (And they were roommates.)
> 
> Leave a comment! But be nice, I'm just vibing, bro...
> 
> I have the whole thing planned out, I just need to write and format it, so I think I'm going to do small updates every few days! Not really mentioned in-fic yet, but Dave is trans, Karkat is chubby, they're both traumatized in various ways, and it's hard to smell love that's right in front of you when you feel like you might not be capable of it. 
> 
> Alternate fic title: In which Karkat mythologizes love so hard it's fucking scary to even begin to open that can of worms with him.

==> Be the crybaby.

Hey, you are not a crybaby. You are just a sensitive guy who’s learning to get in touch with his emotions via a Jane Austen movie marathon. You tell yourself it’s got nothing on classic Alternian cinema, but you are a liar. A liar in flannel pajamas. It has everything you love in a romance: fancy costumes, intricate webs of side-character drama, tearful last-minute confessions, and a happily ever after at the end. You’ve always secretly hoped to have a romance like this in your life, but you know it’s unrealistic for someone like you. Unfortunately, that still doesn’t stop you from thinking about it; Aching for things you don’t deserve is your specialty. 

It’s a cold day in December, and you’ve stolen the fuzzy socks your roommate got when he was discharged from the hospital last year. And speak of the Devil, he’s home, blowing all the cold air and smog of the city in along with him. He never fucking closes the door on time. He smells like lunch meat from his shitty job at Subway. You’ve never been more in love with someone in your entire life. 

DAVE: can i sit with you

KARKAT: YOU’RE UNUSUALLY POLITE TODAY, IS SOMETHING WRONG? 

DAVE: since when is asking permission unusually polite i ask permission a good sixty percent of the time

DAVE: besides im not about to collapse onto the couch when jostling you could be catastrophic

DAVE: pop that shit off like a firework and im patriotic 

You zone out and let him carry on with his impromptu mumble rap, watching the way that pale little scar on his chin stretches while he gabs on about explosive devices and tripwires. You wish you could stop finding his relentless dedication to insincere posturing endearing. Eventually you remember to interrupt him, patting the loungeplank cushion. He sits down and steals a messy handful of your popcorn, that bastard. 

KARKAT: SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND BE QUIET. IT’S A BOWL OF POPCORN, NOT A BOMB. WANT SOME?

DAVE: hahaha theyre so cute

DAVE: this is human cinema at its finest

KARKAT: IT'S DECENT.

DAVE: decent

DAVE: youre seriously moved by this dont try to deny it for your pride

DAVE: guy one has been pining for chick one since the start of the movie or something and its painful for him to tell the truth about his feelings

KARKAT: FINE, OKAY, SUE ME! I AM EXTREMELY FUCKING EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THIS HUMAN FILM.

KARKAT: THAT'S KNIGHTLEY, HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO POINTS OUT HER GLARING CHARACTER FLAWS. BUT IT'S BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE WHO KNOWS HER BEST.

DAVE: the pain of love and infatuation

DAVE: thank god its only glorified in media could you imagine what it would be like if people were collapsing in their feelings on the street

KARKAT: HEY, THEY'RE IN PRIVATE HERE. IT'S OUTDOORS, BUT THERE'S NOBODY ELSE UNDER THAT TREE.

DAVE: do you think standing under trees is that romantic

KARKAT: I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS WHERE YOU'RE STANDING, IF YOU'RE COMMUNICATING SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

KARKAT: SEE, HE'S OFFERING TO LEAVE HIS BIG FANCY MANOR AND MOVE IN WITH HER AND HER SENILE FATHER. THAT'S ROMANTIC.

KARKAT: ACCORDING TO MY RESEARCH, IT'S AGAINST CUSTOM FOR THIS TIME PERIOD.

DAVE: yeah maybe you have a point offering up sacrifices to be happy with someone you care about is pretty intense

DAVE: what do you think these rich layabouts actually do anyways it seems like they dont do shit to earn their money

DAVE: maybe its just not the focal point of the story but could you imagine if kingston or whatever had to work at subway

DAVE: he probably wouldnt even be a store manager im doing better than him

KARKAT: IT SEEMS LIKE THEY'RE LANDOWNING LEECHES WHO DON'T DESERVE THE WEALTH THEY HOARD. BUT I *REALLY* WANT TO SEE THEM KISS. SO SHH!!!

DAVE: hey can i get some of that blanket

He worms his way under the blanket when you lift up a corner for him. Then you tell him it wouldn’t be so cold if he didn’t always let the drafts in, and he sticks his freezing stomp pod under your ass. 

KARKAT: HOW THE FUCK DO YOUR STOMP PODS GET *THAT* MUCH COLDER THAN ROOM TEMPERATURE?

DAVE: its cold outside

DAVE: keep talkin like that and youll get a second stomp pod for your trouble

KARKAT: NOOOOO!

KARKAT: KEEP YOUR ICE BLOCKS AWAY FROM ME.

DAVE: lift your cheek

KARKAT: I REFUSE.

KARKAT: YOU JUST WANT AN EXCUSE TO TOUCH MY ASS, YOU RAGING PERVERT.

Dave pulls away from you like he just accidentally stepped in barkbeast crap. You force a laugh, but steel yourself in the knowledge that it’s never going to happen between you two. Look, see? He’s fucking disgusted with you.

DAVE: what

DAVE: no

KARKAT: DON’T LOOK SO OFFENDED, BULGE FOR BRAINS, I WAS KIDDING. 

DAVE: yeah i know i was kidding too

DAVE: theres nothing i want more than to use my toes as footfingers and take handfuls of your buttcheeks

DAVE: lift them drop them treat them like a sock puppet

KARKAT: OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THE WORDS? THE WORDS KEEP COMING. WHY DON’T YOU USE YOUR “FOOTFINGERS” TO STRANGLE ME AND END MY TORMENT?

==> Be the object of his affections.

Whose affections? What? You don’t know about any of that yet. You’re just chillin’ like the most dastardly of villains with your best broham. Bromigo. Bronstitution of the United States. Brosario Dawson. The way he sticks his weird gray tongue out between his pointy teeth and scrunches his face up in disgust when you put your foot on his neck is equal parts hilarious and adorable.


End file.
